Christmas is still a work in progress for me. I think as the years go by, I will hopefully learn more ways to cope and deal with the sadness and depression that comes every year for me. Here are some of the things that I have found have helped me.
Focus on the real reason for the celebration. Of course we all know what this means, the birth of the Savior. I try to find any way to bring the focus back on to Him. 3 years ago I took some little boxes and made "gifts" that we hang on the tree. One of them says Wish and the other says Gift. Every December we write a new Wish for the New Year, and a Gift we are going to give the Savior next year. We then write the year on it, punch a hole in it, and tie a piece of tinsel through the hole. Then the next year we open them to do it again, and read the last year’s Wish and Gift. It’s a good way for me to evaluate how I did in the year and what I need to work on next year.
Find joy in being with Family. This one is hard for me at times. My family is still growing, so at times it’s hard not to see my child under the Christmas tree opening a gift. But I really try, at least for Christmas Day, to shelf my infertility status and let myself have a day of just joy. I try to forget being childless and sad, and give myself a break.
Make it romantic and special for you and your husband. We usually try to make it special for each other by having a glass of sparkling cider and having a quiet evening. Some hotels/inns offer specials that day because of how slow they are, so even a little get-away that evening might be fun.
Don't push away emotion. This is something I am trying to learn myself throughout the whole year. I have trained myself to not to cry. I have learned how to turn off the waterworks when they come pushing through, and it’s so unhealthy. If you are having a sad day give yourself time to cry. Then dust yourself off and move on.
Be excited about the New Year. Think of it as a fresh start, a new year full of wonderful memories and new opportunities. Let yourself dream about things you would like to see happen in the New Year. Think of stuff not related to infertility, but things like a vacation, your anniversary, family times. It helps me to be excited about the future.
Send out Christmas cards and celebrate being a family. This is my personal preference, but we just send one of those photo cards out. We don't send a letter with it, because honestly I can't stand those letters. All the ones I have read sound like people bragging, and I'm just not like that. I sent one out one or two years and I hated the way it made me feel. Include your pets in your picture, if you have any. I consider them to be family.
Tami