Saying Good-bye to an Old Friend…
It usually takes me and my husband 6+ months to make big, life-altering decisions. It is absolutely necessary. There must be time to weigh the pros and cons, to consider how life would be altered, to receive inspiration and direction.
Case in point…the color swatches have been hanging on the wall for who knows how long. Green…the perfect color. You would think that we would be ready to commit…especially since green is my favorite color. But, the paint remains unpurchased. The walls remain off-white. We just need more time to really know if it is the “right” color (or, so we tell ourselves).
It has been this way for as long as we have been together (which has been a long while).
Until about a month ago.
It started when we bought a car in a week.
Then Joel began growing a beard overnight.
And, this week, when the doctor called on Tuesday and said “let’s remove your other fallopian tube tomorrow”, we said yes.
Why did we say yes (especially when I didn’t have 6 months to think about it)? After all, saying “yes” meant saying “no” to the possibility of ever naturally conceiving again.
I needed to preserve my health.
I needed to be in control.
I needed to be done.
I needed closure.
So, I am now tube-less. How do I feel? I try not to think about it. But, to my left fallopian tube who has gone the way of extracted organs…here is what I have to say…
“You’ve been voted off the island!”
“You snooze, you lose!”
“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!”
“I look better without you!”
But, most of all “Thank you for giving me my son!”