An excerpt from my book:

“Not long ago, I was stung by a bee. It has probably been decades since my last bee sting, but I am positive this one was abnormally painful. Somehow this angry insect found the thin layer of skin on my right temple (on my head) and decided to sting me there. I cannot begin to describe how excruciating the pain was; the pain was so intense that I lost the ability to think straight, I began sweating profusely, my entire head ached, and all I really wanted to do was cry. My mother was with me and acted quickly by pulling the stinger out. Luckily, I was able to find some bee sting ointment to apply soon after the sting, and, amazingly enough, it acted rather quickly, taking the edge off the pain. It never removed the pain entirely, but I was indeed grateful that it worked wonders in reducing the intensity such that I could return to normal functioning, I could stop sweating, and I could again be in control.

couple5“I see that there are many lessons that can be drawn from this experience, but the one I find most profound is the power of a balm. A balm is something that soothes or alleviates a pain. Undoubtedly, each of us have had occasion to use a balm of some sort during our lives, so, all of us have experienced the relief that it can bring. How grateful I was on that day that I found a balm that could be applied to the intense pain caused by such a tiny creature…a bee. It truly was amazing how quickly the balm soothed the pain so that I was no longer overwhelmed and immobilized by something that hurt so badly.

“We all know that the pain of infertility can be immobilizing, yes, even so overwhelming that we cannot think straight. Sometimes all we want to do is cry. And, other times we cannot even decide how we feel. I believe that there are many things that we can graft into our lives that have the potential of being a balm that can soothe a painful wound.  The sting or hurt may never go away entirely, and that is normal, but we can reduce the pain to the point that it does not overwhelm us or cause us to be unproductive,” (Daynes, pg. 167-168).

I believe that there are small, meaningful actions that can help us today as we learn to understand how to live beyond infertility. These actions can help us emotionally, physically, socially, mentally, and spiritually. Now, remember that these actions are not meant to solve the problem of infertility, but rather, to give us tools to survive, cope, and to live. These actions or strategies can often seem ordinary or cliche, but can often make all the difference.

I love this article about coping with the stress of infertility. It is written by Alice D. Domar, PhD., who has written quite a bit on the subject of infertility. She touches on so many aspects of coping and gives some great suggestions. I highly recommend it…click here.

Click on the links above to learn how to cope emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually.

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