Festivus, Mother’s Day, and Celebrating Light

Infertility has forever changed Mother’s Day for me. It is a hard day. I know that is not shocking to anyone who is infertile…but I just feels better to say it out loud.  I know that it should be a great day of celebration, love, adoring mothers, and so much more.

I know…I know.

But guess what? It is still hard.

Mother’s Day seems to be a day when my infertility becomes more pronounced and a bigger elephant in the room, a bigger mountain to climb, a bigger hurdle to jump over, a bigger whatever-you-want-to-call-it. This year, Mother’s Day comes on the heels of finding out that I have premature ovarian failure. For those who are counting, this would be strike three of reasons I am infertile…which means: I am officially OUT of the game!! So this year, Mother’s Day is a bit more tender for me.

For some reason, Mother’s Day has become a day when I pause and think of all the ways I am not the mother I pictured. In fact, it kind of reminds me of Festivus…remember, from Seinfeld? Feats of Strength, the Festivus Pole, and the Airing of Grievances (when we think of all the ways we disappoint each other).

But, guess what? To heck with Festivus and disappointments. I have decided that I am going to think outside of the box. This year is going to be different! I have decided that I am going to focus and celebrate all the ways that I have contributed to the world, the ways I have nurtured and inspired, and the many ways I have been a mother (remember that dictionary.com says that to mother is “to acknowledge oneself the author of, to give origin or rise to, to care for or protect like a mother”). We all know that mothering is so much deeper, so much more eternal than the number of children that we have.

Instead of allowing Mother’s Day to be a day of somber reflection and painful moments for my grief and the grief of so many others. I am not going to let my grief overshadow that I truly have reason to celebrate. How about you?

What have you done to touch the life of another?
What is beautiful about you?
What is unique about how you live?
What have you been the author of?
What have you protected or cared for?

I picked up a greeting card years ago at a little boutique in Breckenridge, Colorado (one of my favorite places) which now sits in a window sill above my kitchen sink. It says…”There are some who bring a light so great to the world that even after they have gone, the light remains.”

What light do you bring into the world? Today…let’s celebrate that!


For more ideas about coping with Mother’s Day, click here.

Image from Curly Bird Designs


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