I am a runner. I suppose I couldn’t be called a die-hard, especially since around this time of the year I am kicking myself because I have been on a 4 month hiatus. Of course my excuses are far from acceptable: “the days are so short…there isn’t enough daylight” or “it is just way too cold.” Needless to say, I love to run.

As with any sport, running brings with it a myriad of challenges. Challenges come even to a seasoned runner as he or she is trying to climb a hill, to recover from an unsteady pace, to endure a long run that seems to never end, or even to overcome a cramping muscle. In the midst of the most difficult moment, I have found that having a personal mantra can be most helpful; a phrase that is said over and over in a runner’s mind can bring much needed perspective, encouragement, control, and strength.

From Jeff Galloway, an avid runner, I learned “mantras will connect into your hidden resources that keep you going when tired. The specific words you choose will help to make subconscious and intuitive connections with muscles, and your inner resolve” (Galloway’s Book on Running, 169).

On my training runs, it seems that the last mile is sometimes the most difficult. When I get to the last mile, I can see my neighborhood and I know I am almost finished. Of course that feeling is a wonderful one, but more often than not, I feel my strength has dwindled and all I want is to stop and walk. At such moments, I start repeating my training mantra: Get to Joy’s. Joy is my friend. Joy is also a runner and she has become running inspiration. She lives down the street from me and I know that if I can make it to her house, I can stop and do my “cool down walk”. Joy’s home is always (ALWAYS!!) a welcomed sight. I know that if I “Get to Joy’s,” I can say that I endured, I overcame the weakness of my physical body, I was in control, and I conquered the temptation to give up. It is energizing!!

Infertility produces running-like moments…moments when you are trying to climb an extra challenging hill, to overcome physical limitations, or to find energy at moments when you feel overwhelmed. In these moments, perhaps a mantra of some sort might change our perspective, give encouragement, help us feel more in control, or offer us strength.

I have recently found my mantra for such an occasion. This year in Primary, the children are learning a song called “I Know My Savior Loves Me.” All I can say is I...LOVE...IT!!! Every time the children sing the chorus, tears fill my eyes and I can feel they are speaking words of truth…words that perfectly express their budding testimonies:

“I know He lives! I will follow faithfully.
My heart I give to Him. I know that my Savior loves me.”

(2010 Sharing Time Outline, 28-29, emphasis added)
Click here to listen--you will be glad you did!!

It didn’t take long for this song to find a permanent place in my head and I found myself singing it at random moments. In these moments, I felt a surge of strength. I felt energy. I felt my perspective change. I felt re-focused…focused on what was most important. It was the Spirit. It is now my spiritual mantra.

I am not the first to declare that I know that our thoughts have a powerful influence upon who we are, what we accomplish, and who we become. I know that if we want strength, if we want joy, and if we want peace, we need to begin with our thoughts.

In the book As a Man Thinketh, James Allen said:

“In the armoury of thought [man] forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. … Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master. … Man is the master of thought, the moulder of character, and the maker and shaper of condition, environment, and destiny.

“Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life. Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance” (As a Man Thinketh, 7-10, 33–34, as quoted by Elder L. Tom Perry, “Discipleship,” Ensign, Nov 2000).

I know that when we focus our thoughts specifically on the Savior and His love, we can feel peace, joy, and love. We are promised “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee” (Isaiah 26:3). I encourage you to find a personal mantra that will focus your mind on Him so that peace can be yours even in those most challenging hours when all seems lost, when you are emotionally exhausted, and when you need strength to endure.

.kerstin.

2 March 2010

I'd love to hear what your spirituals mantra are. Share your comments below...

On My Mind Archives

Sometimes the media addresses the topic of infertility from a perspective that I do not agree with, however, the media can raise awareness so easily and quickly! And, I believe awareness is much needed.

Even though at times the hosts of "The View" were not particularly sensitive to the topic and even though there was only 40 minutes to talk about a topic that could take a multitude of episodes, I thought the show did a wonderful job at addressing various issues couples face. From causes of infertility to the diagnosis of infertility, from the reality of costs t0 various treatment options, and from male responses to female responses, the topic was addressed in terms easily understood and in a way that the emotion of it all could be felt.

Go grab your pile of laundry...or other project that needs to be done, and, please watch it...

click here.

• February's Think & Share is open until February 17th at midnight. Check back on the 18th to see what others are thinking and sharing. To see this month's topic, click here.
• Infertility Forum on February 17th in Sandy, Utah. Click here for more information.

As you navigate around the website, you will see some icons to draw your attention to certain interactive features:

The pencil icon indicates places where I invite Community Participation. These are opportunities for you to write about your ideas, feelings, opinions, and experiences relating to a particular topic. You will be able to submit your ideas and they will post so that others visiting the site will be able to view them.

The notebook icon points out places where I encourage a Notebook Entry. These will be opportunities for you to think about a subject and write about it in a personal notebook or journal.  The intention of these opportunities is for you to process your feelings which will then prove valuable to you as you strive to live with and understand infertility. These journal entries are entirely confidential, however, they may end up motivating you to share somewhere else on the site. To learn more about picking a journal, click here and read the first bullet point.

The book icon is intended to accentuate the use of scriptures. We all know that you can't just look up "infertility" in the scriptures and have a long list of scriptures that help you know how to deal with infertility. There are scriptures, however, that have brought strength and knowledge to my life and the lives of others as they experience infertility. I would hope you will see these scriptures throughout the website and be inclined to mark them in your scriptures in an identifying color (something different than red). Then as you flip through your scriptures, you will know exactly where to find help.

A tree represents all of these to me as well.

The life of someone dealing with infertility can be barren, it can be dark, it can be lonely, and it is definitely without success of sorts. It feels like an uncultivated, unwelcoming, and extremely desolate wilderness. I do not believe, however, that is what Heavenly Father wants any life to be.

When we deal with infertility, or any challenge really, it is easy to allow the barrenness to overflow the bounds of a physical problem into other territories of our lives. When this flood occurs, it is difficult to find meaning, success, or even happiness in any aspect of our lives. Having felt these very real feelings myself, I also know that within us lies the power to choose life instead, along with health, success, beauty, and yes, fertility. Let me explain…

I love in the Book of Mormon when we learn about the Liahona. Lehi found this peculiar ball as they were in a desolate and foreboding wilderness, far from where they anticipated they would ever be, being asked to live a life they were not accustomed to. The ball was given to them by Heavenly Father to give them direction and they relied on it regularly, perhaps even daily.

We learn that one specific time they used the Liahona was as they sought nourishment for their family in the wilderness. 1 Nephi 16:16 teaches us that Lehi “did follow the directions of the ball, which led [them] in the more fertile parts of the wilderness”. This scripture is one of only two in all the Standard Works which contain the word “fertile”, so I am immediately drawn to it. It has a powerful message to share.

Our Liahona is the Holy Spirit. Just like Lehi’s Liahona, the Holy Spirit will lead us into the more fertile parts of our lives. These fertile parts of our personal wildernesses are not necessarily associated with bearing children. These fertile parts are where we are able to use our talents and abilities to make the world a better place, to expand our minds and to share our knowledge in positive ways, and where we righteously do those things that Heavenly Father needs us to do. These fertile parts are where we find satisfaction, joy, and peace as we use our God-given skills of nurturing, loving, leading, serving, and teaching. They are places where we feel comfortable exemplifying goodness, courage, kindness, loyalty, virtue, and compassion. They are places that are illuminated by the Spirit and places we are nourished by the Spirit. They are places we want to be, places we need to be.

How do we find these fertile places? We must consciously choose to have the Spirit with us. We know that in order for the Liahona to work, Lehi and his family had to be obedient, diligent, and faithful. Therefore, in order for the Holy Spirit to work in our lives, we must also be obedient, diligent, and faithful. And, sometimes it will take our greatest strength to do so.

Elder Bednar gives us a great checklist that we can use: “The Spirit of the Lord can be our guide and will bless us with direction, instruction, and spiritual protection during our mortal journey. We invite the Holy Ghost into our lives through meaningful personal and family prayer, feasting upon the words of Christ, diligent and exacting obedience, faithfulness and honoring of covenants, and through virtue, humility, and service. And we steadfastly should avoid things that are immodest, coarse, crude, sinful, or evil that cause us to withdraw ourselves from the Holy Ghost.” (“That We May Always Have His Spirit to Be with Us,” Ensign, May 2006).

So, why a fruitful and beautiful tree? Because I know that despite infertility, we can live our lives in the fertile parts of our wildernesses. These places of happiness and joy may seem very difficult to find, but as we rely on and cling to the Holy Spirit, they can be found. And, what beautiful and welcomed havens of peace, life, strength, and refreshment they can be when we look upon the barrenness on the horizon.

The full version of this website will be launched on Monday, October 5th, so please come visit again.
Some highlights of what will be coming include:

* Sharing...Monthly opportunities to discuss topics related to infertility.

* Living...Tangible ways to live and find joy while dealing with infertility.

* Joining...A gathering place designed to network and find/create support groups.

* Learning...General information about infertility.

* Supporting...Helpful hints for those who are fertile who want to help their infertile friends.

* And, much more...

_________________________

I am Kerstin Daynes and I am the founder and author of ldsInfertility.org. I was born and raised in Littleton, Colorado. I married Joel Daynes, my childhood sweetheart, in 1998. I graduated with a degree in Family Science from BYU in 1999. I love spending my time running, cycling, reading, organizing, being out in the warmth of the sun, eating out, having a Saturday soda, and saving money by finding a great deal. During my personal battle with infertility, which has included numerous failed treatments, my husband and I witnessed a miracle of miracles in our son. We currently reside in Utah.

I feel compelled to share my story and to encourage other couples to share their stories about infertility so that all may be positively affected by acknowledging this very real sorrow.

If you would like to be notified of the full release of this website, if you have questions, or if you want to contact me for any other reason, please do so at my email kerstin(dot)daynes@ldsInfertility(dot)org. I look forward to hearing from you!