Cameron and Kristin, Part 3
Cameron & Kristin C.
We waited for days, and the days turned into weeks. Her period didn’t come when we expected it to. We couldn’t believe it. And then, once again, the answer was no. It was devastating. Again. We were confused. We were heartbroken. Again. As usual I don’t know why.
Shortly after this experience I came across a talk by Hugh B. Brown. It was called “The Currant Bush.” It spoke of God “pruning” his children so they can grow into who He wants them to be. As I read it I was able to look at this trial in a new perspective—from that of a gardener. It made me think of how God is pruning me into something better. As hard as this trial is for me, for my wife, and on our marriage, it is making us grow stronger. We are dependant on each other. I am dependant on the Lord. I need Him for strength. I need Him for comfort and peace. When I step back and realize that He is in charge, I am able to move forward in faith.
And, that is where we are at in our story. The Lord has been good to us and has heard our cries. He hears me and knows who I am. We have felt the presence of the Holy Ghost and feel there is hope. While the adversary is strong and working hard to bring me down (and often does), the Lord has lifted me up when I need it the most. I have found comfort in words of prophets and other church leaders, in scriptures and hymns. I have gained a strong testimony that I find my greatest strength in doing the simple things we are taught since primary: read your scriptures, say your prayers, serve others, attend the temple, and keep the commandments. I have found a lot of peace by just turning off the noise and driving, sitting, and pondering in silence. Doing so has allowed the Spirit to soften my heart and make my burden seem light.
Through this trial I have been much more aware of the words in hymns and in songs. It has drawn my attention to the Lord’s atoning sacrifice. I have found peace in the atonement as I recognize that Christ has carried my burden, and my sorrows. That He has felt my pain, my anguish, my guilt, fears, despair, etc. and that He knows my desires. I have felt his arms around me. I KNOW that everything will be okay. Through prayer, I have learned that this is the Lord’s will for me at this time of my life. There is much I need to learn from this experience. I pray that He will give me the insight to always recognize His hand through this trial and that I will allow him to “prune” me into who He wants me to be. Infertility is hard. Probably the hardest thing a marriage and a man, for that matter, can go through. While the adversary makes me feel like overcoming this is impossible, I find strength in knowing that with God all things are possible.
How grateful I am for Cameron and his wonderful wife, Kristin, for sharing such a personal part of their life. I hope it has been helpful. I hope your eyes have been opened. And, I hope that you have been encouraged. Thank you Cameron and Kristin!!
Please check back next week…I will be posting some resources for men as they deal with infertility whether it be female factor, male factor, a combination of both, or unexplained. Can’t wait to share them with you!!