My story is much like any of yours: complex at best. I used to keep it all to myself, but then I found that I felt better when I shared bits and pieces. With each telling, my burden became that much lighter, my circle of friends became that much larger, and I somehow became that much stronger. Because I find value in sharing and because I want you to know where I have been and where I am going, I will share an abbreviated version of my story here.

Our infertility is because of me, or rather, because of my body. My reproductive system cannot function as it should, and it never will. After Joel and I had been married for five years, and after several attempts of IUI were unsuccessful, what we had always known was confirmed: conception on our own would be unlikely. Instead of considering adoption or childlessness, we felt strongly that we should continue pursuing the medical intervention route. Our medical options...finite, the money that could be spent...infinite, and the chance of success...a gamble. We did IVF 1 1/2 times, without success. We spent time, money, and emotion with wonderful OB/GYNs and a renowned Reproductive Endocrinologist. For three years, we entertained all the options and used all of our resources. We were exhausted.

Only days after our second cycle of IVF failed, knowing that all of our remaining embryos died, we decided we were done with the stress of it all. We determined that we were done with medical intervention, we were done with making decisions, and we were done spending money for something that comes so naturally for most. We weren't ready to consider adoption, so, we felt resolved that we could be happy being just the two of us. The next month, we were pregnant. Some people want to explain that the medication remaining in my body from the recent IVF caused me to conceive, but, because I know my body and the impossibilities that lie within, I knew the pregnancy was an absolute miracle.

Now, you might be deflated or disappointed to hear that someone who is outspoken about and is educating about infertility IS a mother. You might even be just like me...when you find out that someone writing or talking about infertility has experienced fertility, you think "She has experienced conception, carrying a child, and being a mother...surely she is unable to give advice or to remember the aching of infertility. She has no clue!" It is easy to assume that being a mother discredits me. But, just because I have a son does not mean I am fertile. I will be infertile the rest of my life. It is a challenge that is mine. I do know how you feel. I do know what it is like. And, I do want to reach out and help.

That is my story in a nice, concise package. That is where I have been. As for my future? That remains to be seen.